Punishment and Revenge in Borderline Personality Disorder
Ask A.J. Mahari, the BPD Coach, what you most want to know more about Borderline Personality Disorder. Mother of Daughter With Borderline Personality Disorder - Coping with Splitting "I have an adult daughter who has BPD. She refuses to go see someone about her condition. The situation is escalating and wreaking havoc in her marriage and in her family life (she has an 11 year old son), and certainly with her extended family."
"She switches from "acting in" but completely avoiding me or giving me the silent treatment, to "acting out" with horrible diatribes and being completely disrespectful. I have read much that you have written about BPD and I have found your material to be among the best at explaining to family members what's going on inside the head of a BPD, and how they are experiencing feelings of abandonment."
"My question has to do with how I react when my daughter is both "acting in" and "acting out". During the "acting out" phase, she tells me she hates me, that I love her brother and his family more than her and her family, and she is beyond disrespectful, rude and hurtful. She takes reality of a situation and completely distorts it to match how she feels. I simply don't know how to handle these outbursts. I try to depersonalize them and to tell myself that she has a mental disorder, but it is crushing to me. She is rude, disrespectful and hurtful. In the "acting in" phase, she totally cuts me out of her life, never answers phone calls, and distances her entire family from me often times with me not even knowing what has precipitated this "acting in". She keeps my grandson from seeing me. The stress of life seems to overwhelm her at every turn." - Mother of BPD Daughter - U.S.
The BPD Coach A.J. Mahari responds:
- Inside The Borderline Mind
- The Shame of Abandonment In BPD
- Breaking Free of The Borderline Maze - Recovery For Nons
- Facing the Facts of BPD - On The Other Side For Nons
- Overcoming Denial About BPD and Love that is in his home."
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© The BPD Coach A.J. Mahari and Touchstone Life Coaching September 17, 2009 - All rights reserved.
If you would like to ask the BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, a question, please email her at bpdcoachaj@yahoo.ca with your question. Please also indicate if you would be okay with your name being used if A.J. responds to your question here. If not, please suggest a pseudonym that you would like your question attributed to.
All responses given by The BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, are meant to convey general information and are not intended to be in anyway a specific recommendation or commentary on any personal life situation. Coaching is not therapy. It is also not a replacement for professional therapy. Coaching can be an effective adjunct to professional therapy for those with Borderline Personality Disorder and/or their loved ones.
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