Punishment and Revenge in Borderline Personality Disorder
BPD Coaching with A.J. Mahari empowers change in Borderline Personality Disorder. Ask the BPD Coach A.J. Mahari questions about Borderline Personality Disorder. "What do you do as a BPD Coach? How do you help people? Is there a difference between what you do as a BPD coach and what a therapist does? I was diagnosed with BPD at the age of 24. That was 20 years ago. I am now 44. I am still stuck. I still have BPD. I read about the possibility of recovery but I haven't found anyone so far that has helped me enough. Can you help me?" - Susan Knight, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
The BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari responds:
What I do as a BPD Coach is provide supportive compassionate and affirming advocacy as a sounding-board, a reflecting mirror, and a safe person for the client to explore his or her feelings and experiences with. I engage in the journey of each of my clients meeting them wherever they are in their own personal journey with BPD from the foundation of both my experience as a BPD Coach and my own personal experience as someone who has BPD and has recovered from it.
I help people with BPD learn to help and empower themselves. A big part of my role as a BPD Coach involves asking pertinent questions that engage each client more fully in his or her own quest to increase awareness and understanding required to identify goals and then create strategy to achieve those goals. I also provide information that can help assist each client to expand his or her base of knowledge in terms of the challenges he or she is facing.
- The Shame of Abandonment in BPD
- From False Self To Authentic Self In BPD - Getting In Touch With Your Inner Child
- BPD and Abandonment
- Finding Hope From the Polarized Reality of BPD
- Preparing For Recovery From BPD
- Emotion Dysregulation in BPD
- Rage Addiction in Borderline Personality Disorder
Audio Programs © A.J. Mahari
Yes there is a difference in what I, as a BPD Coach do, and what therapists do. There are differences actually. Therapy, which for most with BPD, is an integral part of getting well at one point or other of the journey, is, among other things, the work of digging deeply into the unresolved issues of one's past. In coaching the work and process is focused on the here and now, and not on the past. As a BPD Coach I work with my clients from a here-and-now framework and focus in the process of creating effective coping strategies and identifying desired goals moving forward in the life of the client. The focus is on learning healthier ways of being in the present as the client continues to pursue the attainment of identified and outlines goals.
It is very possible also to be both working with me as your BPD Coach and working with a therapist at the same time. The work is not exactly the same but is highly complimentary. BPD Coaching is an effective adjunct to professional therapy provided one is not suicidal - in any immediate risk. As a BPD Coach it not within my realm of expertise to provide help with feeling suicidal or actively being suicidal. That is territory for a professional therapist.
It is very important to radically accept where you are right now. I strongly believe that there is purpose in each and every unfolding here and now moment. Where each person is with Borderline Personality Disorder in his or her life is highly individual. It is important not to get down about having BPD and not to judge yourself for feeling stuck or being stuck. Stuck is a respite between the last point of growth and the next up-coming point of growth. Stuck is a part of the process. Recovery from BPD is not a straight line. It is not constant movement. There are times in the process that one needs to just be where one is even when that feels very stuck in the negative sense of what one can judge stuck to be.
Being or having been stuck does not mean that you aren't making progress or learning. It means that you are coping the very best that you can right now. You are doing the best that you can right now. When you know more you can do more, when you learn more you will know more. Stuck is as much a growth opportunity as anything else if you choose to let it be.
- The Abandoned Pain of BPD Ebook
- The Legacy of Abandonment in BPD Ebook
- The Shadows and Echoes of Self - False Self In BPD Ebook
- BPD and Rage Ebook
- Loneliness Ebook
- Those with BPD and/or Non Borderlines can purchase A.J. Mahari's 3 "Core Wound of Abandonment" series ebooks only or A.J. Mahari's 3 "Core Wound of Abandonment" series ebooks packaged together with From False Self To Authentic Self In BPD - The Inner Child Audio Program
- Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder The Lost Self The Impact of The Core Wound of Abandonment Ebook
Many of my clients still have BPD but are able to vastly improve their experience and quality of life where they are in the here and now with an eye to moving forward through the process of working with me as their BPD Coach. One does not have to be fully recovered from BPD to improve the quality of one's life. Still having BPD does not have to mean that you continue to suffer or to feel unable to cope with your pain or emotions. It does not have to mean continuing to relate to Self and others in destructive and unhealthy ways. It does not have to mean continuing to be disconnected from the lost authentic self in BPD when one opens to and further understands the reality that triggers in BPD are gateways to recovery.
As I talk about in my video, below, you, like anyone and everyone else with BPD, are the person who can most learn to help yourself. You need to find your authentic self and empower that Self. My clients find working with me as their coach very helpful in the process of successfully identifying their goals and the most effective strategy required to attain those goals.
© The BPD Coach A.J. Mahari and Touchstone Life Coaching September 5, 2009 - All rights reserved.
If you would like to ask the BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, a question, please email her at [email protected] with your question. Please also indicate if you would be okay with your name being used if A.J. responds to your question here. If not, please suggest a pseudonym that you would like your question attributed to.
All responses given by The BPD Coach, A.J. Mahari, are meant to convey general information and are not intended to be in anyway a specific recommendation or commentary on any personal life situation. Coaching is not therapy. It is also not a replacement for professional therapy. Coaching can be an effective adjunct to professional therapy for those with Borderline Personality Disorder and/or their loved ones.
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