Is intimacy possible with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? Can you really create a bond with someone with BPD? If you do create a bond with someone with BPD can it include intimacy? What is the likely quality of it and outcome of it? Family members and relationship partners of those with BPD as well as friends often find out that those with BPD are not capable of achieving or sustaining a healthy bond.
Where does that leave any hopes of or for intimacy for someone who loves someone with Borderline Personality Disorder?
Borderlines have trouble bonding or attaching to a partner without feeling as if their psychological existence is threatened. Unless those with BPD are successfully treated and successfully address the core wound of abandonment that is so central to BPD, intimacy is just too stressful and causes those with BPD to fragment, regress, act out, or cling to others in ways that promote the re-living of the abandonment most feared and that also support ruptured toxic relational styles - not healthy intimacy.
Non borderlines really need to learn the reality and truth about borderline love and how to overcome any misunderstandings, misconceptions, or misgivings about the toxic love of the borderline false self.
Borderlines have trouble bonding or attaching to a partner without feeling as if their psychological existence is threatened. Unless those with BPD are successfully treated and successfully address the core wound of abandonment that is so central to BPD, intimacy is just too stressful and causes those with BPD to fragment, regress, act out, or cling to others in ways that promote the re-living of the abandonment most feared and that also support ruptured toxic relational styles - not healthy intimacy.
Non borderlines really need to learn the reality and truth about borderline love and how to overcome any misunderstandings, misconceptions, or misgivings about the toxic love of the borderline false self.
Thanks so much for all the material and trouble you've gone to here. I've finally disconnected (no, really, I have!!) from my BP ex, and wow... what a journey. I'm looking forward for the first time, but it took me a long while to give up trying to pressure my resolution to allow me to (which they cannot give, naturally). Even if I know most from experience, it helps to feel understood. And from an ex BP... I think that's mighty cool :)
I have a question, if you answer them (sorry, no probs, if you don't). I'm comfortable with the idea that I can never interact with him again... but as someone who has had BP, are you able to look back and comprehend those damaged relationships from that period of your life? It can't matter to my journey anymore, but I find myself wondering if he will ever at least look back wherever he is, one day, and realise.
Posted by: Aaron Darc | March 07, 2010 at 02:25 AM