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« An adult-child of a Borderline Mother speaks about rage | Main | Intimacy With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder? »

November 09, 2008

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triki

I have just come upon this site and this topic resonated deeply with me as I am currently ending my relationship with my mother and it is very painful. While I know I have to do it for self preservation it is still enormously sad .... I have only just begun to feel this. So many flashbacks of hurtful times and anger at the lack of care I have felt from her. But it is confusing because I thought my wounds were healed and I had no desire to hurt or change her. Now when she is aging she has inflicted such ruthless disregard for me or my sister and brother and lied to justify her appalling behaviour. Now everything is clear and I am struggling to deal with the knowledge I have tried desperately to pretend....to convince myself that my mum was okay. It has brought my brother and sister together as she disowned all of us..then she tried to set tensions between us....now she says I am a ringleader against her. All those doubts the great pit of fear about me being manipulative and evil which I have wondered where these ideas came from..came from her! And I feel stupid I never realised!..Sorry for the rant..i am very raw at the moment. It feels good to write to people who may understand :)

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