Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a very complex mental illness. It effects the lives of those who are close to or in any type of relationship (non borderlines) with someone with BPD as much as it effects those who are diagnosed with it. The ways in which BPD effects those who have it or the non borderlines in their lives are equally as devastating although not entirely the same.
The key to coping with BPD whether you have it or you know, love, or care about someone who does, is learning as much as you can about. The more you can increase your understanding of BPD - as someone with BPD or as a non borderline, the more you can begin to learn to cope more effectively.
A.J. Mahari, in her writing, Ebooks and Audio Programs, Audio Podcast and Mental Health & Life Coaching, when it comes to BPD, has the unique voice of someone who not only had BPD and recovered 15 years ago, but also of someone who was the adult-child of 2 borderline parents, and subsequent to her recovery from BPD had a relationship with someone with BPD/NPD. Mahari not only knows, first hand, what it feels like and is like to have BPD, to explain that to family members and loved ones. Mahari also knows what it is like to be a family member, loved one, and relationship partner of someone with BPD. Mahari understands what that feels like too. It is from her 360-degree unique experience with BPD on both sides, and her recovery on both sides of BPD, that Mahari's work generally, and her Life Coaching, specifically, that she can offer you a more in depth and insightful understanding and compassionate brand of practical help unlike many others who life coach in this area.
You can now listen to more from A.J. Mahari on various aspects of Borderline Personality Disorder on her free BPD Inside Out Audio Podcast on her website or
If you want to hear even more from A.J. Mahari after listening to her audio podcast you can purchase her Audio Programs featuring much more in depth and detailed information about various aspects of BPD for those with BPD and for non borderlines.
If you have Borderline Personality Disorder please read my Note To Those With BPD before you read anything else here. This Blog contains articles and posts written for those with BPD as well as those who are Non Borderline. You may not want to read what has been written for non borderlines. At various points in recovery it can be very helpful for those with BPD to read about and learn more about the point of view and experience of those around them. However, if you are not ready to face the personal responsibility and the truth of how others experience you then please be careful to read what I have here that is on BPD in general as opposed to what is written for or aimed directly at family members, loved ones, ex or relationship partners of those with someone with BPD.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) has at its very roots the core wound of abandonment It is a relational disorder. Key borderline facts everyone needs to understand include attachment issues, fear of abandonment, lack of object constancy (objects relation theory), self harm, depression, and narcissistic defense mechanisms such as splitting, projection, and alternating idealization and devaluation. Borderline Personality Disorder is often at the heart of verbal abuse, physical abuse, domestic abuse, emotional abuse and intense unstable and often toxic patterns of relating.
It is important for both those diagnosed with BPD and those who have someone in their lives with BPD - family members, loved ones, relationship partners - non borderlines - to come to an awareness about BPD - Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder The Lost Self The Impact of The Core Wound of Abandonment because without a conscious and aware understanding of all of the aspects and ramifications of BPD the result for the borderline and the non borderline is the same - on-going pain and suffering. Pain and suffering that does not have to continue as it has been.
Borderlines are relating from The Shadows and Echoes of Self = a false self in the absence of the lost authentic self. The borderline false self is the root of Rage in BPD A rage that the borderline false self via its narcissism employs to try to protect the borderline from his or her Abandoned Pain.
© A.J. Mahari April 2002-2010
You can watch some of A.J.'s Mahari's Videos on Borderline Personality Disorder on this blog and she has others available for those with BPD and Non Borderlines on YOUTUBE
A.J. Mahari is a Mental Health and Life Coach
A.J. Mahari offers a life coaching packages designed specifically for Loved Ones of BPD - Non Borderlines as well as people with BPD.
